


Gentle Voices are Good

by jlhb



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: An Emily Prentiss Trauma Fic? More Likely Than You’d Think, Emotional Abuse, FUCK, Hurt/Comfort, Mommy Issues, Referenced Emotional Abuse, emetophobia tw, gun mention tw, no beta we die like men, ooh boy this is just me projecting isnt it, sick fic? i guess, some jemily if you squint, this is set around season 4/5, vent fic, vomit tw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26292766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlhb/pseuds/jlhb
Summary: This is exploring the concept that Ambassador Prentiss emotionally abused Emily for most of her childhood, and this fic is centering around how she tells each of her team members. Please don’t read if this could be triggering for you.
Relationships: Emily Prentiss & Derek Morgan
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	1. Derek

**Author's Note:**

> TW: emetophobia and mentions of emotional abuse 
> 
> Read with caution!

Surprisingly, Derek was the first to put two and two together. He would never have been Emily’s first guess, because despite his obvious talent for profiling, he tended to respect the ban on inter-team profiling more than anyone else. Emily could tell why: he had things that he wanted to keep private, and so he understood that not everyone’s dirty laundry needed to be aired. Despite that, and despite being part of a team who read people for a living, Derek was the first to confront her about it.

\---

It was a tough case for all of them. The ones with children were the hardest, and this case was no exception. Children disappearing and showing up a week later, with scared eyes and gaunt faces, in a town where the graduating class had a maximum of 20 students meant hysteria and too many scared civilians. Everyone was working overtime, feilding question after question from distraught parents in the altogether too crowded police station meant tensions were rising. Hotch had long since let JJ and Reid head back to the hotel for some rest, and he and Dave had just left to re-interview the principal, when a woman came in, her lips in a harsh line and her footsteps heavy and sharp. 

As soon as she walked in, Derek noticed Emily’s shoulders tense and her back straighten. Derek hadn’t even noticed the new presence yet, and so he too was on alert, scanning the station for any threat. Much to his surprise, the only addition was a woman who appeared to be in her late forties and a state of mild aggravation. Before he could get Emily’s attention to ask what had set her off, she cleared the room, her entire demeanor shifting to something harsher and colder than he’d ever seen. Despite her obvious discomfort, she talked to the woman for a moment before directing her over to a younger officer so he could take her statement.

Emily crossed the room, the tension still sitting heavily on her shoulders, and came back to where Derek was standing. Something was still off with Emily, but she dove back into the files in front of her, and that really worried Derek. When Emily got irritated, she told anyone who would listen. Once her coffee came with too much milk, and she didn’t stop complaining until Reid bought her a new one just to shut her up. So this unnatural silence worried him, but he left it alone and vowed to keep a better eye on her. 

He went back to his work, but kept Emily in sight for the next hour the woman was in the station. In doing so, he noticed things that sent alarm bells ringing in his brain. 

He noticed the way she never turned her back to the officer’s desk. 

He noticed the way that even with her caution not to let the woman out of her line of sight, she tried even harder to keep Derek away from the main lobby where the woman was giving her statement. When his coffee eventually ran out, she got up to refill it before even he realized it was finished, and came back with his favorite chips and a massive bag of Twizzlers. When he got up to use the bathroom, she shot up after him, lying that there was a quicker way that didn’t involve walking through the precinct. 

He noticed that while leading him through back hallway after back hallway, she was careful not to let her steps ring too loud , and when his soles squeaked against the linoleum floor, she was barely able to suppress a flinch. 

He noticed that she didn’t let the bathroom door close too loudly, catching it before it slammed behind him, and he noticed that when he exited the bathroom, she was still there, looking around like they were at a shady gas station instead of a police precinct. 

Offhand, Derek said “Making sure the unsub isn’t following me to the bathroom? I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think I fit the profile for one of his vics.” He said it with mirth in his voice- a vain attempt to crack a smile from Emily, but he was disappointed when it only brought forth a polite smile, entirely lacking the joy he was hoping for, and not a response.

Still, he left it alone. He regretted that later.

About halfway through her visit, the woman’s voice began to rise in both pitch and volume. 

Derek saw a panicked look come flash across Emily’s face, so quick he could’ve missed it if he wasn't looking. When the yelling didn’t stop, he watched the tension rise in Emily’s shoulders. Her eyes didn’t leave the woman for even a moment. Only when the young officer began to get upset did she intervene. Derek barely saw the tear glinting in his eyes before Emily was across the room and placing herself into the path of the older woman’s anger. She spun slowly, leading the woman somewhere quieter and removing the officer from her line of sight. No one else noticed the slight tremble that came over her when she entered the conference room, signaling Derek to check on the officer. 

10 minutes later they both exited, the older woman looking significantly calmer, and Emily looking… unreadable. As she escorted the woman out of the precinct, Derek noticed the sweat gathering on her brow, and how her breathing had sped up slightly. Before he could ask her what was going on, she made a beeline towards the family bathroom. As Derek followed her, he noticed the door was left unlocked, and that he could hear gagging sounds coming from inside.

Knocking gently on the door, he warned Prentiss of his presence. 

“Em, I’m coming in, ok?”

All he got as a reply was a moan, and he took that as an invitation.

The sight that met him was not a pretty one.

Emily was hunched over the toilet, gagging slightly, in a position typically assumed by drunk college students and kids with the stomach flu. He locked the door behind him and sat down gently, keeping his hands and face as visible as possible. 

Once it seemed like Emily had thrown up everything she could, he passed her a damp paper towel and helped her into a more comfortable position. 

She broke the silence first. 

“Thanks, Derek. Wasn’t expecting that today.” She huffed out a laugh the even Spencer could tell was forced.

“Em,” he began gently. “Look, I know we’ve all got our shit, but I’m worried. What was that? And don’t try to say it was nothing. You may be a good liar, but you sure as hell ain’t that good.”

She let out an exhausted sigh before beginning.

“My mom-” She cut herself off and started again. “My mom, she was really strict. And she loved me, don’t get me wrong, but when she got mad, she was scary.” A tear dripped down her cheek, and Emily made no effort to wipe it away. “When that woman walked in, her footsteps sounded just like my mom’s did, when she was mad. And then-” she gagged a little again, but obviously swallowed it down. “Her yelling. The way she sounded, it just brought me back home, to when I was a kid. It’s been a while since I remembered the way she yelled.” Emily shivered slightly.

Derek wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her, but he held back until she was done talking.

“She never hit me. Never did anything that was really abuse. But when she got mad, it was the most scared I’d ever been, and when I tried to defend myself, she wouldn’t hear it. It’s not always this bad. I don’t know why it was like this today. I’m sorry…” she trailed off, and that was when Derek knew it was his time to step in. 

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for, Prentiss. Like I said, we’ve all got our shit. Thank you for trusting me with yours.” He was earnest and comforting in the way only Derek could be, and he breathed a sigh of relief when she leaned into him.

“Thank you. Just, please don’t tell the rest of the team. I’ll tell them eventually, but I want it to be on my terms.”

“Of course.” His voice echoed soft and gentle through the bathroom, and he could feel Emily relaxing with each passing second. “And look, if you ever need anything, I’m here. I’m right here.” He gave her a second to process the words before asking. “So, how are we playing this? Both of us? In one bathroom? I think that’s gonna raise some suspicion.”

That comment earned a tired chuckle from Emily, and that in turn allowed Morgan to relax a moment as well. This conversation was far from over, but for now, he had helped a bit, and that was all he wanted.


	2. JJ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is jj's chapter! have fun riding this angst train!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, a tw for mommy issues, and a minor appearance of a gun. nothing graphic, but dont read if it may upset you! i really hope you enjoy it!

It was supposed to go well. JJ wasn’t supposed to find out tonight, and definitely not like this. It wasn’t that Emily was afraid of her reaction- she trusted JJ implicitly, everyone knew that- but out of the two women, Emily was always the strong one, and she had no intention of showing JJ that she was anything other than unshakable. 

Alas, some things aren’t in our control.

\--

Emily really had no idea why Hotch left Jack with her and JJ. Something in the back of her mind told her that it was because they were women, but she ignored that thought, despite the fact that after JJ, Morgan was the best with kids. It had started out, in all honesty, pretty fun. Emily never loved kids, but Jack was a fun age, and it was cool to watch him explore the BAU out from under his dad’s watchful eye. His excitement was palpable, and it brought up the mood of the entire office. 

What Emily wasn’t expecting was that Jack’s curiosity would lead him to jiggle open the lock on Emily’s desk while she and JJ were trying to find an age appropriate snack in the kitchen (toddlers liked yoghurt, right?) and take out the (thankfully unloaded) gun. 

JJ was the first to notice the child, and did as any other sane human would do, which entailed running and grabbing the gun from the toddler. By the time Emily realized what was happening and made it over to her desk with the yoghurt, JJ was already well into a lecture that Emily agreed was well deserved. Despite the well deserved nature of the lecture, what JJ said next made Emily’s blood run cold. 

“Jack, don’t you ever even touch something like that again, or I promise, you’ll regret it.”

The words rang in Emily’s head and before JJ even had time to finish her lecture, Emily had snatched the teary child up, putting herself between Jack and JJ, and heading to Hotch’s office without a word, the container of yoghurt trembling in her head. 

Don’t you ever talk to me like that again, or I’ll make you regret it.

“Auntie Emmy, why are we in Daddy’s office?”

Close the door, don’t let her see you cry. Don’t imagine what she would do to make you regret it. Her eyes were colder than Emily had ever seen them.

“Emily, open the door. What’s wrong?” 

“Auntie Emmy, what’s going on?”

“Emily please open the door.”

Or I’ll make you regret it.

“Auntie Em?”

Regret it.

What finally snapped Emily out of her reverie was the sound of small sniffles coming from the corner of the room. She only had to look for a moment before she realized that Jack was sitting on the couch crying quietly to himself.

Quickly, she moved from the door (why was her back pressed so hard into the wood?) to the couch, and wrapped an arm around the kid. 

“I’m sorry Auntie Emmy I didn’t mean to I’m so sorry please don’t be mad.” The words tumbled out of Jack’s mouth between hiccups, and Emily calmed herself down enough to calm him down.

“Shh, shh, buddy, it’s ok. It’s ok, I’m not mad Jack.” That momentarily stopped his cries.

“You’re, you’re not?” He asked wetly.

“No, buddy. I’m scared, and I’m a little annoyed that you went into my desk without asking, but bud, I couldn’t be mad at you, because you didn’t know that what you were doing was wrong. You didn’t know that the gun you took out of my drawer was dangerous, and we hadn’t told you not to touch it, so why would I be mad? The reason Aunt Jayje sounded so mad earlier was because she was scared too, and she didn’t want you to get hurt.” Emily somehow managed to keep her voice calm throughout the speech, and she was glad to see that Jack’s cries had stopped for the moment. The creak of the door broke that calm.

JJ, not aware of Emily’s inner turmoil, poked her confused head through the door. Though Emily knew rationally that JJ wasn’t going to hurt Jack, when she felt Jack’s breathing pick up, she stiffened. Emily shot JJ a glare that had sent unsubs cowering, and said in a clinically cold voice: 

“Jennifer. Did you put my gun away?” 

It took JJ a moment to reply, taken aback by the use of her full first name, but she managed to stutter out a confused affirmative.

“Good. You might want to let Hotch know what happened so he doesn’t freak out when he gets here. Jack and I are fine on our own, right?” Not waiting for a response, Emily clearly and coldly indicated for JJ to leave. Thankfully, she got the hint.

Before Jack could ask questions, Emily opened the yoghurt and distracted Jack with airplane and truck noises. Thank god for the short attention span of toddlers.

The rest of the afternoon passed with little excitement and when Hotch got back to the office, Emily was relieved to see he didn’t look mad, and even more relieved that Jack’s account of the day had been mostly good. JJ was looking at her weird, and Emily still wouldn’t meet JJ’s eyes, but nonetheless, the two women parted that way without talking about it.

\--

The more JJ thought about it, the angrier she got.

Why had Emily reacted that way? Did she think it was a good idea to let Jack play with a gun? And why had she been such a bitch to her afterwards? Jennifer? Emily never called her Jennifer, always JJ or Jayje. Sometimes in the field, she would call her Jareau, but even that was rare for her. The look in Emily’s eyes was all that stopped her from going to her house to demand an explanation. The fear in her eyes was unlike anything JJ had ever seen from Emily, and it shook her to her core. Still, the way Emily behaved was… off. JJ resolved to ask her about it tomorrow.

\--

The next morning, JJ arrived to find Emily already at her desk.

Shaking away her shock (Emily was almost always 5 minutes late), she grabbed Emily by the arm and dragged her into her office. 

Even though JJ wasn’t a profiler, it was apparent how nervous Emily was. Her eyes were darting frantically around the room, and her shoulder almost touched her ears. JJ stared dumbly for a moment before starting her speech.

“Em, what the fuck.” Admittedly, not the best start. “What happened yesterday? Why did you treat me like I’d done something awful for taking a gun from Jack? What would you have done, let him keep playing with it?” It came out harsher than JJ meant, but she meant every word.

“I- I’m sorry, Jayje-”

“Don’t apologize. Just…” JJ sighed and calmed her voice down. “Tell me what made you react like that.”   
Emily’s fear was unmistakable, but she started anyway.

“I, uhh, I wasn’t mad because you took the gun away from him. God knows I would have done the same thing.” Her breath was louder than it usually was. “I- The-” She exhaled loudly. “When you said you would make him regret it, that brought up some bad memories.”

JJ immediately softed at Emily’s earnest voice.

“After a big fight with my mom, she, well, she said something really similar. And it scared me really bad when I was little, and I didn’t want Jack to feel like that. So, um, I took him. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just wanted to protect Jack.” 

JJ was smart enough to put the pieces together, and mentally noted to ask Garcia to run a full background check on Ambassador Prentiss later, but for now she just pulled Emily into a gentle hug. 

“It’s ok,” she murmured, and when Emily relaxed slightly, she kept going. “It’s ok, Em. It’ll be ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this chapter! if you liked it, drop a comment! they mean the world to me, all feedback does! have a lovely weekend!

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you have any reactions, I would love to hear them! Kudos are very appreciated!


End file.
